Everyday Life Humor Story

What is this?

2009-01-06T07:27:00.000-08:00

Hey guys do you know what is this? Well, can I say that it is rubbish? Yes that is rubbish but why people don't throw it to the dustbin?
Because >>>>>>>>>>> It is the way that others big company are doing advertising their company. Get it? Yes, that is the old method company using it for advertising. Is it work? Yes. If not many company won't spend money for people to do it. Right?

According to everyday there is a lot of people earn money from the rubbish.. just kidding from the name card, flyer that is printing company. So that is why so many printing company still can survive. So please if you see the flyer flying around the sky then please pick it and if you had read it and then please throw to the road for others people see. Okay? Thanks for reading.

Trouble sleeping

2008-12-16T08:03:00.001-08:00

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.

"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."

"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."

"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"

Ping Pong match

2008-12-11T07:40:00.001-08:00

Weird Ping Pong Match - Funny videos are here

Ha Ha ha

2008-12-10T08:47:00.000-08:00

Jumping Cars - For more funny videos, click here

Make your decision please?

2008-12-07T09:05:00.000-08:00

Everytime the salesman can’t success in sales because of what? Because of the customer always will request others opinion like from husband, friend.

Actually, that is the time for salesman to give them the opinion because salesman always know which one is suitable for the customer.

Sometimes, salesman also did mistake. Just like that: Customer don’t know which one they like the most and then the salesman just will give them the cheapest one because they know if they like it because of the price, and the design too. So please understand people love cheap and nice design. Actually, cheap can be get but nice product you will know if the product cheap then the quality of the product is the main problem that all around the world understand that cheap is not the quality is best. Expensive is not the best too. So don’t bother which is the best just tell them that which is the cheap and best and then the customer 50-70% will buy if not they will waste your time in choosing this one OK? This one OK? So make sure you give them 5-10 times opinion and then the customer will follow it. Thanks for reading.

Salesman plan for 2009

2008-12-06T07:19:00.000-08:00

2009 is the new year for everyone, and it just about a few weeks to go. Every salesman is expecting the time to come. Do you know why?

Tell you the story:
A villager living in a village and his job was farmer. Everyday he work in the farm and everyday he will do the same job again and again.

But he is the same as salesman will take a long time to rest because when the time come for harvest then the villager will just take rest and then counting money for the hard work he had earned.

Same to salesman: He is waiting for the bonus from 2008 and if he don’t like his job he will move to another job and then start again and again. Just like bird eat east fly to west and eat west nonstop action.

Hopefully, some of the stupid salesman will just stay there because they don’t know others work experience. That is why so many employer can’t find the experience worker.

Don’t you agree? What is your plan for 2009? Share it to me. Thanks.

What salesman do while they feel lonely?

2008-12-05T07:51:00.001-08:00

Salesman always think about some negative thing about their job, their time is not as free as you who can read the blog daily without any stress.

Salesman always need to think about their sales performance. Sometimes their job is very boring. Can you all imagine that if you are always go to shopping and see the salesman give you the flyer and if you take it and read it only if you interested you will come in to check it out and if you are not interested to buy anything then please don’t waste their time because they will angry you if you don’t buy something. Their eye just like monster. If they know you don’t want to buy they will try to use their magic word buy it free special gift, or special promotion and discount.

Salesman is a boring job and sometimes they feel lonely too. What the salesman do if they are lonely?

Easy some of you will request them to play MP3, MP4, and if possible ask their supervisor to install the TV and watch TV all day long. Do you think they can do like that? Yes if they are the salesman who sales the MP3, MP4, and TV.

Actually, they have some option too that is watch someone or some customer go through and immediately give the flyer and then the customer will be scared or surprise. What is the bad thing is you are fire because customer complain they won’t come to this shop again.

So think something interesting about what you think that salesman can do if they feel lonely?

Salesman Service Technique

2008-12-04T08:53:00.000-08:00

What you do if sometimes, customer don’t want to buy your product and just have a look? You angry, You happy? You welcome them to come again?

Answer:
1. You angry. You angry to your customer and scold them if you want to look only please don’t come here. I don’t have time to serve you?
2. You angry. You angry to your customer and tell them if you want to look around please give me $10 for service. Customer will ask why? Because service you need time. You are wasting my time.

You Happy? You happy because you can waste the time and no need to distribute the flyer to customer.
You happy because you can sit down for an hour just give and then let them go. Then you know your supervisor will blame you for nothing.

You welcome them to come again? Good because you know if they come for the first time, if they like your service they will come to you again. I am proud too if you do like that but make sure you know them next time because they will buy with you not others. Why because you spend so much time and if your friend service them sure they will also spend for about an hour to close the sales and it is wasting time. Don’t you agree?

Happy being scold?

2008-12-03T07:35:00.001-08:00

Daily there must be someone who is being scold by supervisor or manager or boss and then how is their feeling?

Feeling : Sad, depress, or happy?

How about think like this, a salesman who is very stupid and not clever as others salesman and always being scold by his supervisor and manager.

Although he is not new to this company but he is very understand that the mistake can be avoid if the salesman understand it or take the correct action. But the problem is this salesman always like to create something to make the supervisor unhappy and angry.

This Salesman always being scold but never think negative about it because he know that it is the ways the supervisor teach something and hope the salesman understand it and hope one day the salesman know the mistake and don’t do the mistake again.

Well, this salesman had good attitude. That is although supervisor scold him but he won’t be sad/unhappy but smile? Do you know why? Please give me your answer.

How Salesman have fun in work?

2008-12-02T07:26:00.000-08:00

Everyday, every minute, every seconds there is a lot of salesman working and working and working but can you imagine that salesman work is very tough and very tension job but sometimes that is fun too.

Fun is not to say that salesman go to pub to have fun but they happy and enjoy their time while they are in duty.

Imagine that one day a salesman in a shopping centre and then he/she listen to music and then if there is 10 salesman in front of the shop and then dance together and you will curious that is that any function or special promotion or any special symptom or virus that had been influence them to dance in front of the public? Yes that are influence by the music and they dance because they don’t have time for go to pub to dance because their working time is so long.

If you don’t know how to release your tension by dancing and listen to music then your life will be dull and that is why so many people are reading my blog because I like to share the original message that is happening in the real world.

So if you see 1 salesman dance than please encourage them to dance with you. But please make sure you are the salesman too if not they will be scared that are you crazy? I am working sir.

Customer like something special

2008-12-01T09:04:00.000-08:00

Customer always like something special. Special can be unique, only one and the not popular one also the best choice for them.

Why? Customer always will ask which one the latest design? Salesman will be directly point to the beautiful cupboard which is for new design products.

Actually Salesman know that there is always the same design but no one notice only. If you work in an environment where the product is arrange well, and you always look at it for about 1 to 2 days you already know that it is the design which is new but later on will be not new because you already see it for long time ago.

Customer buy the new product and then will think about that is that the new design but when she go out and then in the street where there is a lot of young girl wear the new design that she had bought she will think that (That salesman told me that this is the new design but why so many youngster wear already?) So just because the new design is which you haven’t wear or haven’t own it before so you feel it is new design. When you had been wear it, you will be think that I want to change to new design that is the human needs.

If human just happy for the first design and then don’t want to change for others design then who need designer? No one. If no new design then the world will be not advance like today where we can had house, telephone, handphone and car for transport.

So if you are the salesman always be honest tell them that that is old design then you know what happen you won’t get any sales and you will be scold and then your boss will send you a special letter to remind you take this month salary and go away from this shop. “You are F I R E”. So what you think about it? Funny or not! I know if you like it you will vote it. Thanks for reading.

Where is the customer.

2008-11-30T08:20:00.000-08:00

Act like this imagine:

Salesman A: A
Customer B: B
Manager C: C

Action:
A: Good morning Madam, may I help you? Or sometimes you can say What you want?
B: Good morning, Oh, I just want to have a look only.
A: Ok, we have … and this … and this… for yourself? Or for gift? (If you like to make the customer laugh you can say: For me?) if she laugh you laugh if not please don’t laugh if not you will be scold by actor C: stupid.

B: Yeah for myself.
A: Ok, then please have a sit. Madam.
B: Is Ok. I just want to have a look.
A: In his mind he think: (What you just want to have a look, you know my actor C is look at me and if you don’t buy you know what happen? Your situation is ok. But My situation is bad because actor C will ask me what happen. You know what is the problem? Answer from actor C (That is your problem.) Oh my god please buy if not ….. I will be scold like stupid student who get very colourful result and will be scold like dog.

But A: will say: This is was the popular and beautiful for you. You can try it. (Try is free but if damage you know what happen? Heh Heh you need to buy it anyway.

B: Are you sure this is the latest design?
A: Yes, the latest design. (But that was about 20 years ago)
B: Oh, other than this?
A: A lot, this … this… this… but the first design was the best and suit to you. Because you are so beautiful( Actually old and fat).
B: Ok, how much for this?
A: About $1000 plus.
B: No discount?
A: Ok ( Actor A will think: Ok, the chances to buy is 60% - 90%) Well, actually this is the best price but if Madam like it I try to reduce some more because Madam like it so much. Hope Madam next time come to my shop to buy again. $950. special for you madam.

B: Wow so expensive. I can’t afford it.
A: Actor A face a big problem: (Customer think that is expensive then chances Madam buy will be drop from 60% to 30%.) Solution: Actor A: Well, actually how much is your budget?
B: Actually I just survey only. Never mind I will come back again. Thanks for your service.
A: Actor A will be so sad but happy because my actor C will be headache and then ask me why and I can say that she just survey. Ha you know what happen? Actor C will say : You are fire.

Daily People calculation

2008-11-29T07:27:00.000-08:00

Everyone had been program to calculate something. I don’t know what is the thing about but… that is natural and not natural thing.

Natural thing:
People A: I need to calculate how much salary I must get from Stupid Company A
People B: I need to calculate how much time I must spend for working in this Stupid Company B.
People C: I need to calculate how long my boss will scold me about 1 hour or 10 hour if 10 hour then I will ask him lets sit down and order some drink and continue scold me.
People D: I need to calculate how many people don’t want my flyer. If 100% then give up to give flyer because no one take flyer it means my flyer is out of date.
People E: I need to calculate how many times my customer go out and go in because if 10 in 10 out that is my problem if 10 in 5 out then it is half my problem half my company problem.
People F: I need to calculate how many sales I got. If 0 then my boss will say you are lazy if you do more than 1 sales considered ok. If more than 10 sales consider very ok.
People G: I need to calculate how much time for me to stay in the company and take the bonus and then quit from the stupid company.
People H: I need to calculate ….. (please write your one to share to me! Thank)

What is the meaning of Work for me?

2008-11-28T07:26:00.001-08:00

Meaning of work? I don’t know what is work… I think that is for salary.. I think that is for boss… to scold me while don’t have sales?... I think if I don’t work then I can’t create the blog… because who will give me a money for online? Boss.

Work work work everyday work and work. I love work because I am Sales Assistant for indoor… indoor mean : inside the door? Yeah but need to give flyer to strange customer to come to buy something that I don’t know whether they like or not… because there is plenty of products to choose and it takes time to pursue them to buy…

When you give flyer to strange customer,,,, you will think about please don’t come inside(if you don’t know what you want to buy…. Because you don’t know if you don’t buy you are safe, but I will be scold by boss why he/she don’t buy? Product problem, Sales skill problem, your communication problems, your mouth bad smell, you give the customer high price?

Think about it, I wonder if I am the customer and I will act like I want to buy something but I don’t buy and see the salesman cry because they will be scold by supervisor for the reason: Why Why Why :

Why customer don’t buy?
Don’t know ----------- Boss will say OK. Next time you give me this answer I will punish you.

Why you don’t give them to choose?
They don’t like it. Boss will say you give them to wear it and then if they know your service then they will choose. Understand? Yeah. But they don’t buy because they just survey.

Why you don’t give the promotion price?
Too late.. he/she already angry and very fast go out already.

What you say about that you want to be boss or sales assistant?

Write down in my comment:
A: Boss
B: Sales assistant

What is the meaning of Work for me?

2008-11-28T07:17:00.001-08:00

Funny Video 3

2008-11-27T20:06:00.000-08:00

I had been watch it and I rated it as ****** because it is funny movie that make you and me happy all the time. Stay tuned.

2008-11-27T19:24:00.000-08:00

This is the very cool video that make me laugh while I feel not happy in work.

Feel better now

2008-11-26T08:29:00.001-08:00

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.

She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!"

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you."

Finish the start

2008-11-26T08:28:00.001-08:00

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.

So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

Letter to a shrink

2008-11-24T08:23:00.001-08:00

Dear Shrink,

It haunted me for days, weeks, months, years. I couldn’t sleep at night. The sleep I got was full of nightmares and visions.

I fought bout after bout, fight after fight, with plagues of depression and insomnia; paranoia! Just the thought vexed me night after night, day after day.

I served stints in mental institutions, was even suicidal. Not even the normal 1-2 punch of Prozac and Zoloft would help.

Who would think that such a terrible and utterly disgusting act of cruelty and injustice could exist? Exist here in the United States of America, the land of the free the home of the Braves?

I could see a terrible wrong like this happening in third world anarchies, but here? The only place in the world where you can buy a six piece chicken McNugget and redeem 250 UPC symbols for a blue, red, and white basketball all on the same day!

I can still hear their merciless, nerve wrecking, voices; taunting him. They kept shrieking over and over that horrid little phrase, "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids."

Why couldn’t they just give the innocent, little, white rabbit some cereal? Why? Does the fact that he is a rabbit automatically deprive him of the democratic and patriotic notion, the freedom, of eating cereal?

I can vaguely recollect the times when he was this close to getting some of that, that CEREAL.

There was the time when he dressed as a human and went to that secret meeting but was given away by the exposure of his fluffy white tail (I am still wondering how they accepted the ears).

Then there was the time he went to space and ancient times and even the jungle, but to no avail. You cannot even imagine the rabbits pain.

There are times when you don’t get what you want but you survive; now think of the rabbit. Over 50 YEARS of chasing his only hearts desire, the reason he lives, and NEVER getting it.

Can you even begin to understand his pain, his utter grief? He is such a funny little rabbit, not silly, as those demonic little children accuse him of being.

Despite all his efforts he never got any cereal; not even when the flavor berry-blue was added to the ever-so-popular flavors of orange. Cherry. Grape. Lemon. Lime. WHY?

Those heartless little children had so much cereal and they wouldn’t share. Even one little spoonful would have satisfied my little white friend’s craving for those delicious six flavors. But no!

"Trix aren’t for rabbits. Trix are for kids. Oh! The unbearable agonizing pain it has cost me. That one simple phrase "silly rabbit, Trix are for kids."

For the fourteen antagonizing years of my short but cruel life I have watched helplessly as those evil little children refused to share. I’ve seen the pain in his eyes grow from when he was a black and white toon to the five-color symbol of melancholy, infinite sadness he is now.

No More! In a matter of moments I will be taken up into the ship following the glorious Hale-Bopp and with the help of some friends I. WILL. FEED. THE. RABBIT! Feed him to his hearts desire so he can finally enjoy the pleasure of the orange, cherry, grape, lemon, lime, and new wildberry blue.

I can’t wait to see the look on their moronic little faces as I feed the rabbit! He will be happy as I, when I give Trix to the rabbit and kill the kids! Who’s with me?

Sianara,

You Know Who

P.S. If you happen to find 496 Trix cereal tops and over 2,546 Betty Cocker points. You will know that I haven’t failed. Oh yeah, trade them in for a 7’ by 4’ by 2’ life size replica of the Trix Rabbit.

Solving a problem

2008-11-24T08:22:00.000-08:00

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."

Crazy people talk

2008-11-23T06:53:00.001-08:00

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"

Promoting an office

2008-11-23T06:52:00.001-08:00

A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him & put it above his shop entrance.

But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he understood why !

The boy found a small wooden board so he had split the word into the 3 words :

Psycho-
the-
rapist.

Scared sleeping

2008-11-22T07:00:00.001-08:00

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever

come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

Ugly person illness

2008-11-22T06:58:00.000-08:00

A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"

"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."

Doctors meeting

2008-11-21T08:26:00.000-08:00

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems." The others agreed.

Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?"

The other three agreed.

The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients."

The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want."

The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me."

The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep a secret..."

Emotional extremes

2008-11-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

"Elation," said she.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."

Better relationship

2008-11-18T20:08:00.001-08:00

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."

"What's the problem?" the docotor inquired.

"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."

The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.

"Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.

"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."

"So, what's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."

I often feel guilty

2008-11-18T08:20:00.001-08:00

Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

"NO!!!" exclaimed the nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"

2008-11-18T07:58:00.000-08:00

Very Funny Accidents!!!Never Before Seen on Metacafe!!MUST SEE!! - Click here for the most popular videos

Trouble sleeping

2008-11-16T07:12:00.003-08:00

Low self-esteem

2008-11-16T07:12:00.001-08:00

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.

He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.

The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.

Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."

An FBI investigation

2008-11-15T07:50:00.002-08:00

The phone rings at FBI headquarters.

"Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave.

The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?"

"Yep."

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

Police are in a chase

2008-11-15T07:50:00.001-08:00

Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly.

The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?"

The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

Problem with a dog

2008-11-13T21:33:00.002-08:00

Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.

Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.

Dealing with trouble

2008-11-13T21:33:00.001-08:00

A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too.

Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist-probably better than Houdini."

The giant nodded.

"If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"

Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. "I can't get out of these," the giant growled.

"Are you sure?" the deputy asked. The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."

"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."

K9 is for assistance

2008-11-11T07:19:00.001-08:00

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

I'm going to a lecture

2008-11-11T07:16:00.002-08:00

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.

"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer.

"I'm going to a lecture." the man said.

"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.

"My wife." said the man.

Crying about his life

2008-11-11T07:16:00.001-08:00

Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.

"Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves."

The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!"

So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"

Reading the scripture

2008-11-10T09:06:00.003-08:00

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening worship service and was startled to find an intruder in her house.

Catching the man in the act of burglarizing her home, she yelled, "STOP! Acts 2:38!" ("Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.")

As the burglar stopped dead in his tracks, the woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. Shortly, several officers arrived and took the man into custody.

As he was placing the handcuffs on the burglar, one of the officers asked, "Why did you just stand there? All the lady did was mention a scripture verse."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar.

"She said she had an axe and two 38's!"

Try to explain yourself

2008-11-10T09:06:00.001-08:00

While driving down the road the motorist saw a roadside stand which had a fortune teller sitting under an umbrella. She was just sitting there smiling and laughing. The motorist passed on by and went a couple of miles on down the road. All of a sudden he spun his car around and sped back toward the fortune teller. As he got closer to the still laughing fortune teller he began to slow down. He pulled up next to the woman and jumped out of his car and suddenly began slapping and beating her.

A policeman passing by screeched to a stop and wrestled the man to the ground. After cuffing the man he stood him up and asked him, "What do you think you're doing?"

After a moment the man replied, ... "Well, I've always wanted to strike a happy medium."

Stop the drunk driver

2008-11-09T07:45:00.000-08:00

A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic.

He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?"

The driver said, "You buyin'?"

Rob the supermarket

2008-11-09T07:31:00.000-08:00

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.

The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.

The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, "meow", the cop says, "oh, its only a cat"

He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, "woof, woof". The cop says, "its only a dog".

He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, "potato"

All the strange names

2008-11-08T08:15:00.001-08:00

One Day Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window.

Well, Stupid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police station. When they got there the chief asked them their names.

"Shut Up", replied Shut Up.

"Stupid", replied Stupid.

The police chief thought these people were telling him to shut up, and were calling him stupid. Which made him very mad. "Excuse Me!" shouted the chief.

Thinking the chief was hard of hearing, They once again shouted there names.

"Shut Up!"

"Stupid!"

The police chief was very riled. He then asked" Are you looking for trouble?"!!!

Stunned at the idea of the chief knowing that they were looking for their friend, they replied,"Why yes, how did you know?"

Go to save my friend

2008-11-08T08:14:00.001-08:00

A very wealthy lawyer retreated for several weeks each year to his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Every summer, he would invite one friend or another to stay with him there for a week or two.

One summer he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to visit him. The friend, happy to get anything free from a lawyer, eagerly agreed. When the time came, they spent a wonderful time, getting up early every morning and enjoying the great outdoors.

One morning, as the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were picking raspberries and blueberries for their breakfast, they were approached by two huge bears--a male and a female.

The lawyer noticed them in time to run for cover. His friend, however, was not so lucky. The male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.

Seeing this, the lawyer ran back to his Mercedes and raced for the nearest town to get the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his high-powered rifle and raced back to the berry area with the lawyer. All the while, he was plagued by visions of lawsuit from his friend's family. He just had to save his friend.

Luckily, the bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male.

The sheriff looked at the bears, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female.

"What did you do that for?!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other bear!"

"Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would you believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?"

Why the big fight?

2008-11-07T07:27:00.001-08:00

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!

Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.

Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?"

To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"

Better prison foods

2008-11-07T07:26:00.000-08:00

Subject: You Deserve a Break Today

San Francisco (UPI)--In what legal observers are already calling a landmark decision in the case of Jackson v. California, the California Supreme Court has recognized for the first time a constitutional right to chicken done right.

The high court held that under the the due process clause and the constitutional prohibition of cruel and unusual punishment, Joseph Jackson, a prisoner at the California Men's Correctional Institue at Camarillo, is entitled to food "of fair average quality," or "comparable to the fare at a modest restaurant or fast-food chain."

Mr. Jackson had complained of the poor quality of the prison kitchen's Coq au Vin ....

Outrageous lying

2008-11-06T06:27:00.002-08:00

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.

The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too

F.B.I. phone logs

2008-11-06T06:27:00.001-08:00

The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME.

FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.

The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.

Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.

Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?

Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.

Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.

Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?

Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.

Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.

Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?

Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?

Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?

Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.

Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?

Agent: I have my checkbook right here.

Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?

Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.

Pizza Man: I don't think so.

Tell what happened

2008-11-05T09:32:00.001-08:00

The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole.

Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness.

"Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" inquired the officer.

"Mister," exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the pole!"

What is the future

2008-11-05T09:30:00.000-08:00

My horoscope read, "You're going places and you can't be stopped."

Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket hadn't read it.

Polceman: "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up for the night."

Man: "What's the charge?"

Polceman: "Oh, there's no charge. It's all part of the service.

A missing person

2008-11-04T07:33:00.000-08:00

Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.

The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."

The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."

The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"

Red fire fighter

2008-11-03T06:33:00.001-08:00

There are four wheels and eight men on a fire engine.

Four and eight makes 12.

There are 12 inches in a ruler.

Queen Elizabeth is a ruler.

The Queen Elizabeth was a ship.

Ships sail in the sea.

The sea has fish.

Fish have fins.

The Finns are always fighting the Russians.

Russians are known as "red".

Fire engines are always rushin', and that's why they're red.

Disorderly conduct

2008-11-03T06:31:00.001-08:00

Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park.

Judge: What were you doing?

1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond.

Judge: And what were you doing?

2nd man: I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too."

Judge: Sounds harmless. And you, were you throwing peanuts in the pond as well?

3rd man: No, sir. I AM Peanuts!

Swerve to avoid a box

2008-11-02T08:03:00.001-08:00

Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.

"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."

Amazed, the driver asked for what.

The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."

Don't say this to a cop

2008-11-02T08:00:00.000-08:00

The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?

17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.

16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?

12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?

10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

9. I pay your salary

8. So uh, you on the take or what?

7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.

4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.

3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

Mistakes on a resume

2008-11-01T08:33:00.000-07:00

These are from actual resumes:

"Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.

"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."

"Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."

"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

"Number of dependents: 40."

"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."

RESUME BLOOPERS

"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB:

"Responsibility makes me nervous."

"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions."

REASONS FOR LEAVING MY LAST JOB:

"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."

JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:

"While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility."

"I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award."

SPECIAL REQUESTS & JOB OBJECTIVES:

"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant."

PHYSICAL DISABILITIES:

"Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep."

PERSONAL INTERESTS:

"Donating blood. 14 gallons so far."

SMALL TYPOS THAT CAN CHANGE THE MEANING:

"Education: College, August 1880-May 1984."

"Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."

"Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget."

"I'm a rabid typist."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation."

Want a day off work?

2008-11-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away fron work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!

I own the fastest car

2008-10-30T22:55:00.002-07:00

A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?".

The dude replies "A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000."

"That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.

The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?"

"Sure" replies the owner.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, alright!"

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going maybe three times as fast!

The guy wonders "what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo BeepBeeP?" Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.

Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! Couldn't be thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror!

WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.

The guy jumps out and discovers it is the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and asks "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man replies "Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!"

Bank robber stealing

2008-10-30T22:55:00.001-07:00

LOS ANGELES TIMES, December 9:

A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun, so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer.

When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door. It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.

Monkey travels in space

2008-10-30T22:52:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES TIMES, October 8:

One of the passengers in a Soviet spacecraft is fooling around with the equipment, and his monkeyshines may end the flight prematurely. The passenger is in fact a monkey named Yarosha -- Russian slang for village troublemaker. Evidently bored on the fifth day of a scheduled 12-day flight, Yarosha slipped out of his harness and took a tour of the spacecraft. Tass, the Soviet news agency, reported that Yarosha was having a delightful time tampering with all of the equipment within reach. Watch out, Yarosha; if you break something, they'll probably dock your flight pay.

Stop credit card fraud

2008-10-30T22:01:00.001-07:00

Many folks have written with perfectly plausible explanations about why merchants take my phone number on a credit card charge. What these fail to address, however, is that if I'm perpetrating a fraud in the use of this credit card, I'm not about to give out a correct phone number. They make no effort to validate the phone number before I leave, so what they're doing is collecting the phone numbers of a bunch of honest people.

Now then... Why are they collecting the phone numbers of a bunch of honest people?

I once asked why you are asked for your phone number when using your charge cards. The clerk explained that theives have been caught because they stupidly put down THEIR home phone number, not the phone number of the person who "owned" the card.

Shooting your computer

2008-10-30T21:59:00.001-07:00

From the Echoes-Sentines [?], Somerset County, NJ, Sept. 17, 1987:

GILLETTE RESIDENT IS ARRESTED AFTER SHOOTING HIS COMPUTER

PASSAIC TWP. -- A Gillette man was arrested at his home last Thursday night after he fired eight bullets at his home computer, according to police.

The man, Michael A. Case, 35, of 64 Summit Ave., was arrested shortly after 11 p.m., at his house, when police said they received a report that shots were fired. They arrived at the home to find a .44 Magnum automatic handgun and a shot-up IBM personal computer with a Princeton Graphics System monitor.

The monitor screen was blown out by the blasts and its inner workings were visible, Lt. Donald Van Tassel said on Monday. The computer, which had bullet holes in its hardware, was hit four times while four more bullet holes were found in various areas next to the computer, Van Tassel said.

"The only thing he (Case) said was that he was mad at his computer so he shot it," Van Tassel said.

The handgun, which the lieutenant identified as an Israeli Arms Desert Eagle .44, has "a lot of firepower," he said. "It's a big gun." Case used hollow-point, or dum-dum, bullets, he added.

Case was surprised when police arrested him because he didn't think he was breaking the law, Van Tassel said. "He couldn't understand why he couldn't shoot his own computer in his own home," Van Tassel said.

Case was charged with recklessly creating a risk and using a firearm against the property of another, because the house is reportedly owned by a relative. The walls were also damaged by the shots, according to police.

He was also charged with unlawful posession of a firearm without a permit, and with possession of illegal bullets, police said.

In addition, Case was issued to summonses, for discharging a weapon in a restricted area and for discharging a single-projectile weapon, police said.

Case spent early Friday morning in the Morris County Jail and was released later in the day on $2,500 bail, according to police.

A Municipal Court appearance is scheduled for today, Sept. 17.

Call us for assistance

2008-10-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot. The horrified nurse said, 'Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?'

Drinking and driving

2008-10-30T21:54:00.000-07:00

The "Environmental Engineering News" published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries.

In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, "He's drunk and in jail."

In Malaysia the driver is jailed and, if married, the spouse is jailed.

In the United Kingdom, Finland and Sweden there's an automatic jail term of one year.

In Turkey, drunk drivers are driven twenty miles out of town and forced to walk back ten miles.

In Bulgaria, a second drunk-driving conviction results in capital punishment.

In El Salvador, your first offense is your last -- execution by firing squad.

From the August Road & Track.

Begin emergency landing

2008-10-30T21:53:00.001-07:00

According to "The Australian," an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.

The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign.

The vibration stopped immediately.

A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.

Phone company's errors

2008-10-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

Phone Company Gives Something for Nothing

Dear Ann,

I think I can top the person who wrote complaining about the idiocy of the phone company. Talk about garbage in, garbage out!

When AT&T split with Bell, we had three phones in our house. The equipment belonged to Ma Bell and the service belonged to AT&T. After we returned all the phone equipment to Ma Bell, we received a bill for $0.00. A few weeks later, we received a check for $5 and a note thanking us. Several months later, we received another computerized bill for $0.00. We called again, got nowhere, so we sent another check for $0.00. A few weeks later we received another $5 refund with the same thank you.

This went on every three months for two years. Now we are down to once a year and have given up trying to straighten this out. We just cash the $5 and forget about it.

Writing letters to son

2008-10-30T21:50:00.001-07:00

One student fell into a cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping.

Didn't realize how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note:

"Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Dad."

This dog loves people

2008-10-30T21:48:00.000-07:00

A normally sweet Great Dane Psil has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers.

While walk Psil one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man.

Struggling to keep hold of Psil, the owner tried to ease the situation said, "As you can see, he just loves UPS men."

"Don't you feed her anything else?" he responded.

Did you understand me?

2008-10-30T21:47:00.000-07:00

Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people.

When a disgruntled customer at a window exclaimed, "No Tickets?" What do you mean NO TICKETS?"

The women waiting on him smiled sweeting. "I'm terribly sorry, sir," she replied. "Which word didn't you understand?"

Find out about the cat

2008-10-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides.

During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in the car, laying down on the top of the limousine's back seat.

The service station's attendant often glanced at unusual passenger. Finally, he asked: "Sir, is that cat someone important?

Review: I don't understand but am I correct: It means that that service station's attendant ask a man is that cat for someone or can I take it home?

Funny Story for you!

2008-10-30T20:10:00.000-07:00

Funny Story for you!

Funny story:
I gave my wife a new watch for her birthday . . . waterproof,
shockproof, unbreakable and anti-magnetic. Absolutely nothing
could happen to it. She lost it.

-Joey Adams

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes
off your goal."
Henry Ford (1863-1947)

Charles Schultz:
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already
tomorrow in Australia."

Olin Miller:
"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if
you could know how seldom they do."

Arnold Bennett:
"The best cure for worry, depression, melancholy, brooding, is to
go deliberately forth and try to lift with one's sympathy the gloom of
somebody else.

Today feeling: Happy.
Because: I create a blog : Everyday Life Short Story.
Love songs: Jay Chow. Andy Lau.

New Short Story for you! Daily

2008-10-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

I love copy short story for you to read and have fun!